Friday Weigh In!

So I would like to apologize to all 7 of my followers for not blogging in the recent weeks.  No good excuse, just letting other things distract me.  You might be thinking, "Sara hasn't blogged in awhile, I wonder if she has fallen off the wagon?"  I am happy to report that I have not!  Below is a picture of some goals that Rick and I posted on our cork board months ago, probably in the fall.  Notice that one of my goals is to lose 20 lbs...(I thought 20 lbs sounded more attainable then 100 lbs at the time)... well I am happy to announce that I am 1 lb away from reaching that initial goal!  As of Friday, March 30, I have lost 19 lbs!

 So whats next?  The hubster decided to help me out when I got serious in January and has the next goal all ready for me for when I rip off the "LOSE  20 LBS" in glorious victory hopefully this week...here is what's underneath...

yeah, going for the gusto this time!  

I had a very successful week last week and I give it all back to the Lord!  Without Him none of this would be possible!  Since we were on vacation a few weeks ago, I kind of lost the groove for logging my food, but am still finding success.  I think that after 8 weeks of logging I might have actually learned some good eating habits and I have been seeking out the Lord more and more.  I am still wearing the Body Bug to measure calories burned, and as long as I continue to lost weight, I think I will not record everything that goes in my mouth.  If I start to gain, back to work logging food.  A great scripture that I have come across that I think sums it up is:

Philippians 3:13-14
"Brothers and sisters, I do  not consider myself yet to have taken a hold of it.  But one thing I do:  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

AMEN!

Total weight loss since January 7, 2012 - 19 lbs!

lots of stuff rolling around in my brain, more blogs coming!

  

Friday Weigh In!

Really it's another Saturday weigh in.  The good news is, down another pound!  To be honest, I didn't think it was going to be a good week.  We were off on vacation this week and I wasn't able to log my calories for part of the time due to no internet access, and then I just didn't want to waste my time trying to figure out serving size, calories per serving stuff.  I did try to have self control over this past week, but that is hard when vacationing.  Probably what saved me was a day of spring skiing at Killington.

My body bug wasn't working right that day, which really bums me out, but I probably burned close to 4000 calories.  There was a lot of snow but when the temps climbed into the 60's it was VERY heavy to ski through.  My muscles were aching!   One trail we skied was at least 3.5 miles long!  The view was one of the many great things that made it all worth while. 

 

That and the good company I was skiing with!!!

After our skiing day we headed up to Burlington to visit one of sister in-laws.  She took good care of me by cooking low cal, low fat recipes while I was there.  YUM!  (We won't mention how she took me to Lake Champlain Chocolates too!) 

Total weight loss since January 7, 2012 - 15.5 lbs!!!!

When being heavy isn't so bad.......

So last night we drove up to the ADK's to begin a great visit with family.  For some reason the quick, heavy snowfall that hit our area and melted right away, hit the roads in the mountains and stayed put, and being that it was only a few inches, the local municipalities were not out in full steam getting them cleared up, so our trip was taking a little longer then usual, and was a little more stressful then usual.   Our little car was not handling it real well and we had some trouble on some of the hills.  Then came the big one, an old familiar friend from my youth, a hill that has caused my family and friends some trouble over the years, and now it was out to strike again....As we ventured up that hill, we kept slowing down and eventually the little car would go no further.  My hubby backed down the mountain and was getting ready to get the best running start we could when the plow came down on the other side.  So we tried going up the freshly plowed side, but to no avail, the plow didn't seem to make any difference and we didn't even make it as far as we had the first time.  Back down again.  The third time we still couldn't make it up and the little car just sat spinning tires.  Other people had whizzed on by us leaving us there in their dust(snow spray).  As we sat there tensions and anxiety were running high.  My husband was at his wits end, we were in the middle of nowhere in the snowy mountains.

 "What are we going to do?" he asks.
 "Well, we may have to just go back down and wait until the snow plows clear the roads better, find someone who will let us use their house (because there is no cell phone coverage out in the middle of nowhere in the ADK's) phone to call my parents, and just wait,  OR...I can sit on the hood of the car to give us some more weight in the front of the car to help us get up the hill."

Yup, that was my big contribution to the problem, back in the day my grandparents had a very long driveway which was downhill to get to their house.  Every winter cars would have trouble at some making their way up the hill to leave.  I remember people pushing, sanding, but what worked the best for me once was when my Uncle Bob hopped on the front of my car and I was able to get up with no problem, it worked then and guess what...it worked last night!  I hopped on the front, held on to the hood up near the windshield wipers and the car was able to make it, slowly and surely up the hill.  It was a beautiful Adirondack night, stars were shinning, snow was glistening in the moonlight, and I was riding the hood of my husband's car.  lol.  (And boy was my heiny getting hot!)

Getting to the top of that hill was a huge relief and we made it to my Gram's without any further complications.  (Well, except for getting my hand stuck in the door as I hopped back in the car) BUT, the first thing that I said after I yelled about my hand being caught in the door and stopped chocking back tears was,
"Good thing I haven't lost all my weight yet!"  Yes there is a an advantage to being heavy if you are ever stuck on a snowy hill!"

Friday Weigh In!

Down 1.5 lbs this week!  yahoo!!  Last week was discouraging but it also made me change some things, like smaller portion sizes at meal times, tracking my calories better, and making sure I get some exercise in.  It is getting harder to drop the pounds.  The first few weeks seemed to go pretty easy as long as I had a calorie deficit, now it is requiring a little more work as far as getting the exercise in too.

So talking with my brother this week, I was happy to learn he is reading my blog!  Shout out to my baby Brother!  Can't wait to see you in a couple of days!

Anyways, my brother and I were talking about my comments in last Friday's blog about feeling exhausted and he suggested that maybe I am eating too little calories for the exercise I was doing.  I have been thinking about that a lot this week, and while I think I am okay on the calorie consumption, I am thinking that the cause of my fatigue may be due to the type of food I am eating.  I haven't changed my diet too much other then eating less.  The author of Made To Crave cut out all sugar. No sweets, very little carbs.  While that may have worked for her, that is not for me.  Since I am finding success without having to cut the good stuff, I am going to stick with that, but I still am not eating enough veggies.  This week I actually kicked it up a notch and had MANY veggies.   (and a piece of cheesecake and two cupcakes, minus the frosting).

I have also changed my exercise this week.  I was doing the EA Active 2, which requires a lot of running in place and A LOT of jumping.  My knees were not handling it well.  This week I climbed on my bike which is on a trainer in our guest room and peddled away while watching videos.  The weather has been so nice and spring like, I have actually thought about getting out there and running again.  YES, RUNNING!  I never thought I would want to go running!!  Not sure how my knees will handle it, they did fine before the half marathon last October, but seems like since then they get sore pretty easy.

Monday I am skiing for the first time in years, and listen to this....you might think I am hitting a small slope like Swain or Oak Mountain for my first time out in years, but no, I am headed to VT to ski at KILLINGTON! Go big or go home friends......thank goodness I lost some weight, I can fit into my ski pants! Hopefully my knees will hold out and I can enjoy the day!

Off to pack!

Total weight loss since January 7, 2012 : 14.5 lbs!!!

Friday Weigh In

No "!" today following my weigh in.  Today I was the same as last week, no loss.  Although...I posted the weight loss from Saturday last week because I wasn't happy with Friday's weigh in, so tomorrow I will weigh myself again and based on the results maybe it will become Saturday weigh ins and not Friday weigh ins.  I have used the word weight a lot in this post already and its not even that long.   Oh well.  Working on little sleep here after a late night and a VERY early morning with the little one.  So back to the topic....it was a challenging week of not making the best food choices.  I can feel myself slipping back into my old habits.  I haven't been logging my food for the day until the next day which causes me to forget stuff that I ate.  Wednesday was a rough day where I showed little self control.  I had a bunch of left over egg yolks from making an angle food cake from scratch.  I have a recipe for sugar cookies that uses only egg yolks, so I figured I would make up a big vat of that dough and freeze it.  Well, let me tell you...that is some mighty fine cookie dough to eat raw, I probably ate at least 5 cookies worth of dough.  I baked some to have for dessert that night, we had company over, so of course I tried some fresh out of the oven.  I felt very convicted that I had no self control.  I have also found this week that I am eating pretty large meals, and need to trim them back down.  I am using the Body Bug to help me monitor my calorie intake vs calorie burn, and I have learned that most days I am not burning a whole lot of calories while at home.  On busy cleaning days I burn a ton, or when we are out of the house running errands, but in my normal routine I am not burning as much as if I was still teaching.  Keeping that in mind, I need to eat less.  Although...I did have a calorie deficit every day this week, but then again, that is based on how well I kept my log which I have already admitted to not doing so well this week.  Another issue this week is I have been feeling very fatigued and not wanting to exercise, plus when I do exercise, the day after exercising my knees have been super sore.  Lots of excuses here, huh?  Maybe I should take some ibuprofen and just suck it up.

Friday Weigh In!

So its actually Saturday, because I weighed myself on Friday and wasn't happy with the results.   I was doing so well after my post on Monday, I was burning up calories like crazy on Wednesday and Thursday.  Had over 1000 calories deficit both days, so I was real excited to weigh myself on Friday and see how the hard work payed off.  Well, I stepped on the scale and it had gone up, that's right, UP a pound since last Friday.  I was very discouraged and tried to tell myself that it is not about the numbers necessarily, especially when I had a great week and did what I was supposed to.  My dear hubby said, "weigh yourself again tomorrow, we had a big dinner last night".  So taking his wise advice, I weighed in this morning and I was down 1.5 lbs since last Friday!  YAHOO!!!  Yesterday I was feeling kind of low that the scale didn't reflect my hard work, I was not at all motivated to exercise, but I did anyway.  I am proud of myself for keeping to it even when I am struggling, and to be honest, by putting my focus on God and drawing nearer to him as I struggle through has made this weigh loss easy then it has ever been before.  I know I still have a long ways to go, but Praise God I am doing it!!!!

Total Weight Loss since January 7th = 13lbs!!!

Mamma Told me There'd be Days Like This

It was another weekend of successes and failures.  This past weekend I thought I was doing well with food choices after attending a birthday party( I didn't eat any cookies or birthday cake!) and a girl's night out, but when I logged my calories consumed vs. calories burned, I had only a 300-400 deficit.  My goal is a 1000 deficit a day in order to lose 2 lbs a week.  The good news is, there was still a deficit, right?  A friend told me she heard some where that a 300 + or - deficit does not effect your weight, so even though I still have just over a 300 calorie deficit each day, I do not feel successful, but Friday is still 4 days away.  Sadly, I have absolutely no energy, motivation, or desire to exercise today.  I feel exhausted.  I stayed up really late Saturday night and my little alarm clock for a daughter doesn't allow any sleeping in.  I went to bed early Sunday night, but still feel so tired today....not to mention grumpy.  I am in just a miserable mood.

I guess what I really learned from this weekend is how much I really ate before I started logging my calories.  If I had attended this birthday party before feeling called to have some self discipline, I would have ate several of those yummy Oreo's, plus the birthday cake, plus several cups of soda.  My girls night out would have consisted of hot fudge on a huge dish of ice cream with a smoothy to wash it down.  In hindsight I am very proud of the choices I made this weekend.  I guess I was successful in that I had self discipline and didn't over indulge. 

Heavenly Father, please continue to give me wisdom and strength when it comes to what I crave.  Help me not to dwell on minor setbacks but begin anew each hour and minute of every day.

Friday Weigh In

Fridays are my day to weigh myself.  I have learned in the last few weeks to only weigh myself on Friday, once a week, not several times a week.  As a woman my weight can fluctuate like crazy, so for my own mental health, I now just weigh myself once a week.  Today I am happy to report that I lost 1.5 lbs since last Friday!  The milkshake yesterday did not do me in and if anything got me motivate to actually exercise.  So far all the weight loss has been because of calorie counting.  The only day I purposely did some exercise was Superbowl Sunday.  Last night I felt so guilty about the milkshake that I did a half hour on the Wii EA Active 2.  It was a good workout.

Total weight loss since January 7:  11.5LBS!!!

Hey, if you are reading my blog, please leave a comment from time to time so I know more people are reading other then my husband!  :)

big mistake

So, I am counting calories, which allows me to have sweets from time to time, I just have to eat less somewhere else during the day.  I still enjoy a fancy coffee here or there.  Well, my bright idea today was to have a small milk shake from McDonalds.  My friend Kristen and I thought we could get a small milkshake and then just have a salad for lunch.  Lets be honest, it was my idea and I talked her into it.  Not a bad idea, right?  I should have looked up the calories before I purchased it and drank 'er down.  Guess how many calories are in a small, 12 oz, chocolate milk shake...








wait for it.......








580!!!!!!

maybe that is common knowledge and I am just naive but I was thinking around 300 calories at the most in one of those little milk shakes.  Holy cow, I have been having an awesome week and now I just feel disgusted with myself.  Tomorrow is my day to weigh myself and I really want to see some progress after only losing 1/2 lb last week and the high calorie weekend I had.  Time to get moving and burn some extra calories.

My Precious.....

You know how Gollum feels in Lord of the Rings about the One Ring?  Well, I think that's one of the best ways to describe how I feel when I am presented with tempting treats like brownies, cookies, cream puffs, and other types of desserts.  At first, before I take a bite, I have some semblance of control, but once I take a bite, they continue to call to me, I can't stop thinking about them, and if you try and take them away from me, I may lash out at you. 

In Made to Crave, Lysa Terkeurst gave up all sugar, and although that is not my weight loss path, I can see why she did it.  She said she didn't have the strength to eat in moderation, she needed to repair that relationship with God so that she could have control over the sweets.  One bite could lead her back to her own bad habits. 

A dear friend made cookies a few weeks ago, small little cookies,  super delicious little cookies, one would not be too harmful, but guess what, once I ate one, 4 more easily followed.  It was so hard to stop.  Same idea with the brownies Friday night and the cookies at the quilt shop.  I desired them so badly, was tempted so greatly, but here is a good verse to help:

1 Corinthians 10:12-14
"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!  No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful;  he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.  Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry."

It feels unbearable when I am being tempted, but I need to remind myself that God will not tempt me more then I can bear.  By choosing God over choosing food, He will provide a way out!  Hallelujah!

It Was the Best of Times, It was the Worst of Times...

Satan has a funny way of working sometimes, just after my big first blog post on Friday, I had one of the highest calories weekends yet.  My mom was here for a visit and to babysit, so my routine was off, and it made for many tough decisions as far as food this weekend.  It had its high and low points.  It all began Friday night when I had some friends over for dinner and they brought scrumptious brownies for dessert.  1st off I made pulled pork for dinner, yum, and I bypassed having mine on a roll to cut calories and carbs.  Very happy with that choice, but then came the brownies.  I did only have one, but I REALLY wanted more.  I couldn't stop thinking about them, they sat there on the table staring me down and winning.  Eventually, I did take a minuscule slice, and then tried to send them home with my friends, who tried to leave them at my house.   They didn't want the temptation under their roof either.  :)  So a compromise was made and some stayed and some went.  I asked my husband to put it out sight, because seeing it was too much of a temptation.  So Friday night passed and I stayed within my calorie budget.  Saturday I decided to make Apple Streusel Cinnamon muffins for breakfast.  They were just 180 calories each so I ate one and had a protein shake.  Not bad, not bad at all.  Then my mom and I took off to check out a quilt shop and the owner had just baked fresh chocolate chip cookies at the store and offered us some.  It was 10:30 in the morning.  I have no problem eating cookies at any time if day, but even though the whole store smelled like fresh baked cookies, and they looked delicious, I was able to prevail and walk away.   (by the way, is it weird to anyone else that a person selling fabric and having quilting classes makes gooey choc chip cookies?  Can we say dirty fingers?)  Then we decided to bring Chinese home to the hubby.  Chinese food does not tend to make me feel full, and I ordered fried rice instead of white rice.  Rookie mistake, but overall I think I was sensible in the amount I ate.   

My mom came specifically so Rick and I could get out and she would watch the little one.  So we deemed Saturday night as our Valentines dinner out.  We had a gift card to Carraba's and a coupon for a free dessert.  I tried to take the advice from slimkatie at Runs for Cookies and searched Carraba's menu online looking for nutrition information so I could plan ahead what I would order.  Carraba's doesn't post their nutrition, bummer.  I did find some sites that said they knew, but it was only a few items they posted, not the whole menu.  When we got there we indulged in the free appetizer, highly recommend the fried zucchini.  Then I ordered grilled chicken with green beans and garlic mashed potatoes.  Definitely the best option on the menu besides ordering a salad.  All in all I think I did well, but I think I should have passed on the fried zucchini.

Then came Sunday, left over muffins, then off to lunch at a favorite local restaurant where I overindulged.  Beef on wyck, french fries, and a gigantic cream puff covered in whip cream and chocolate syrup.  Yup, ate it all and had the guilt and shame feeling afterwards and swore I would not eat anything for dinner but vegetables.  Well, that didn't happen.  Left over pulled pork and baked beans.  Thankfully, each day is a new day and today has been awesome!  After a weekend of slowly declining will power, my determination (God) kicked in and got me back on track.  The enemy's been defeated!  Brownies, cookies, and cream puffs couldn't hold me down!!

Isaiah 43:18-19
"Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!...I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

How this came to be...

So here it is, my first blog entry.  I have so many things I want to write about that I do not even know where to start.  I am by no means a writer (I will leave that to my sister Carolyn), I have never been good at keeping a journal, not even when it was required for classes, but I felt led to begin a blog to help with my weight loss, to help me keep accountable, and to track my progress. 

I have been overweight all my life, and I have hated it all my life.  I grew up with friends and family who loved me, and by the grace of God I fell in love and married a wonderful Godly man.  The pounds kept adding on and on.  I would have success losing weight here and there, but still would remain overweight.  In 2008, I biked my overweight self 400 miles across NYS, had a baby in 2009, and then in the past year continued to let the weight pack on.  I started running last summer to participate in a 1/2 marathon in October.  I lost a few pounds training for that, but didn't really watch my diet so much, so I didn't get the full benefit of all that exercise.  On October 31, 2011, I participated in that half marathon and finished with a time of 3:19.  It was a huge accomplishment for me to lug all that weight around for 13.1 miles!  Because I had not trained long enough before hand, my body hurt for a long time after that and I used that as an excuse not to exercise.  Then the holidays hit and I ate...a lot.  I would like to say that enjoyed the holiday treats, but the truth is, eating cookies, cheesecake, and candy may have tasted good, but all I felt was shame and guilt.  And because I was overeating all the time, I felt this shame and guilt all the time.  By the time my birthday rolled around on January 6, I decided enough was enough.  But it wasn't by own strength that I decided to change my life, it was with God's.  Here is that part of the story:

So have you ever heard of the Christian singer Mandisa?  She was a finalist on season 5 of American Idol and went on to become a Contemporary Christian singer.  I saw her at a few Women of Faith conferences and just thought she was such a beautiful woman of God, so of course I liked her on facebook!  On facebook she openly talked about her struggle with weight, and recommended a book "Made to Crave:  Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food" by Lysa Terkeurst.  Mandisa mentioned this book time and time again, and I was beginning to think about getting it, and then one night at my girls group my lovely friend came with this book in tow and read some of it too us.  A few of us decided to be accountable to each other that night, and the books were purchased.  Let me tell you this, the book was very convicting.  So convicting in fact that I stopped reading it, and this is what I sent to my accountability girls: 

Well, ladies, I could sure use support and prayer. I have been sitting on this for a while and just feeling plain old crappy. I have been exercising quite a bit the last few weeks but I haven't really changed my diet, so I am not really losing any weight. I have so many reasons to lose weight, but none of them seem to be strong enough to make me stop the eating. I am embarrassed that I cannot stop, because my motivations to stop are pretty big ones such as 1) My relationship with God, 2) The 1/2 marathon in a few weeks, 3) my fertility issues. Losing weight may not make me fertile, but it would boost my chances. I am so ashamed of myself for not being able to break this cycle. I have picked up the book, read some and then put it down for weeks because it challenges me and I guess I don't want to have to deal with the struggle of trying to break free, but in all reality, I am miserable anyway because I am so embarrassed and ashamed. A lot of frustration and tears.

I wrote that in September, and it still took me until January 6 to find the determination to break that cycle.  God didn't give up and now neither will I.  I want to draw closer to God and I want my heart to crave Him and not Cadbury mini eggs, or Starbucks frappachino's, or cookies fresh from the oven...I could go on and on.

Here is something else I have learned...notice in my message to my friends I said I couldn't find the motivation, well I have stumbled upon a blog of a woman who last over 100 lbs through diet and exercise and she explained the difference between motivation and determination.  Here it is in her words at Runs for Cookies.  But basically motivation is a force, stimulus, an incentive or drive, where determination is the act of deciding definitely and firmly; firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end.  Apparently I was never motivated enough to make a real difference in my life, but I am determined to reach the desired end, which is to crave God, and become fit for a King!  So far so good.  I have finished the book, and started re-reading it for support (it has a lot of great scripture references in it!)  Not only have I finished the book, but since my weigh in on January 7, I have lost 10 lbs!

So friends, there it is, my first blog entry.  Maybe one of these days I will be brave enough to post my beginning weight, I am not there yet.  Please pray with me, for me, and let me know how I can pray for you.  Until next time, Sara